The Lord Chancellor's Department - My family's splitting up
This page is from a leaflet developed by childcare and family support practitioners and researchers for the Lord Chancellor's Department.
There are a series of four leaflets for different age groups:

'Me and my family' for younger children;

'My family's changing' for older children;

'My family's splitting up' for teenagers and

'Parents and children' for parents.

The leaflets are designed to help with the process of divorce and separation.

A GUIDE TO THE PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME
by Stan Hayward FNF Research Officer
What is it? The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is the systematic denigration by one parent by the other with the intent of alienating the child against the other parent.
The purpose of the alienation is usually to gain or retain custody without the involvement of the father.
The alienation usually extends to the father's family and friends as well.
Dr. Richard Gardner in his book 'The Parental Alienation Syndrome' states (P.74) "Many of these children proudly state that their decision to reject their fathers is their own. They deny any contribution from their mothers. And the mothers often support this vehemently. In fact, the mothers will often state that they want the child to visit with the father and recognise the importance of such involvement, yet such a mother's every act indicates otherwise. Such children appreciate that, by stating the decision is their own, they assuage mothers guilt and protect her from criticism. Such professions of independent thinking are supported by the mother who will often praise these children for being the kind of people who have minds of their own and are forthright and brave enough to express overtly their opinions. Frequently, such mothers will exhort their children to tell them the truth regarding whether or not they really want to see their fathers. The child will usually appreciate that "the truth" is the profession that they hate the father and do not want to see him ever again. They thereby provide that answer - couched as "the truth" - which will protect them from their mother's anger if they were to state what they really wanted to do, which is to see their fathers. It is important for the reader to appreciate that after a period of programming the child may not know what is the truth any more and come to actually believe that the father deserves the vilification being directed against him. The end point of the brainwashing process has then been achieved.
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The case of Maynard shows what many commentators regard as the classic case of Parent Alientation Syndrome (PAS)
The extremity and intensity of her disability is illustrated by her quite extreme reaction to endeavours by the experienced court welfare officer to read to E [a daughter] quite unobjectionable communications from her father,
or even to show her the photograph of her father.
As Mr Waters [barrister for mother] concedes, it is open to the father at any time to issue an application for a residence order.
This court [LORD JUSTICE THORPE, MR JUSTICE BODEY] has to acknowledge its impotence, just as Judge Ludlow has implicitly acknowledged her impotence.
Right, so Thorpe LJ and Bodey J do not enforce a contact order and we are to believe the father will get a residence order !!

Read The Maynard Judgement

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Once the family court advisor has written and submitted his report (often called the Welfare Report), a copy is given to both sides, and the case can proceed to court. The hearing will be in private, so members of the public will not be allowed in. The family court advisor will give evidence in the proceedings. Both legal representatives will have a chance to cross-examine the family court advisor as to the recommendations in the report. The parents give evidence either under oath or by affirmation ( I will tell the truth ).
How does a judge make decisions on residence ?
A common complaint is 'how can the judge know what is best for the child' That is why the welfare report is so important to the court, and why generally so much weight is attached to it, because the family court advisor is the person who represents the court. meets the children, the parents, sees where they live. a strong recommendation is rarely ignored by the court. both the family court advisor and the judge must, when making any recommendations or decisions about residence (old word custody) or contact
take into account certain things, which together are known as the 'welfare checklist'.

the wishes and feelings of the child in the light of his age and understanding

the child's educational, physical and emotional needs

the likely effect on the child of any change in circumstances

the child's age, sex and background and any relevant characteristics

any harm the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering

how capable the parents are of meeting the child's needs.

No one of these individual items is any more important than another. What is crucial is that the overall decision is, in the judge's view, in the best interests of the child when taking all the above factors into account. Of course there are many other matters that a judge will also take into account when making a decision on residence. These include how willing each parent would be to promote contact with the other, how capable each parent is of speaking to the children about the other in a positive way, and how strong the children's bond is with each of the parents. A judge will also want to know about a parent's working arrangements, and whether childminding would be needed if a child were to live with him or her, where the children go to school, where their hobbies and friends are, and whether a Residence Order would affect any or all of these routines. The objective is to decide the best outcome for the child in the long term.
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Extended Article On Residence Residence Trail

Service

Conciliation appointment

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Advice For A Cafcass Meeting

1. Do not slag off his ex-partner, where she lives or her parenting skills. Show that you think they are different but complimentary.
2. Say that you wish you had a relationship with her where you can discuss the children and that you feel it is very sad that this doesn't happen.
3. Acknowledge the importance of her position as their mother.
4. Show that you are considerate to her needs and emotions and that you understand how hard it is for her letting her children go.

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Youngest was born on 29th December 1993 at 05:29 am.
In her case not only was she born at home but also without a midwife present.
As far as the statistics go that does quite literally make her one in million.
Most children are born with their father's watching in hospital, but I can tell you it is a whole different ball game to actually deliver your own child.
The first thing your child sees is the face of her father and I can tell you for a fact that this creates an instant bond.

Eldest was born on 10th November 1989 at 12:45 pm.

Introduction

This guide sets out the civil remedies and criminal sanctions that are currently available through the courts to victims of domestic violence. It is intended for statutory and voluntary service providers who deal with the impact of domestic violence. It is not intended to be a self-help guide for members of the public. Further information about guidance and leaflets is at Annex D.
How do we define domestic violence?
There is no universally accepted definition of domestic violence. The 1993 Home Affairs Select Committee (HASC) Report on Domestic Violence used the following definition:
"any form of physical, sexual or emotional abuse which takes place within the context of a close relationship. In most cases, the relationship will be between partners (married, cohabiting, or otherwise) or ex-partners."
The inter-governmental initiative, Raising the Standards, uses a fuller explanation: "Domestic Violence and abuse is best described as the use of physical and/or emotional abuse or violence, including undermining of self-confidence, sexual violence or the threat of violence, by a person who is or has been in a close relationship."
"Domestic Violence can go beyond actual physical violence. It can also involve
emotional abuse, the destruction of a spouse’s or partner’s property, their isolation from friends, family or other potential sources of support, threats to others including children, control over access to money, personal items, food, transportation and the telephone, and stalking."
"It can also include violence perpetrated by a son, daughter or any other person who has a close or blood relationship with the victim. It can also include violence inflicted on, or witnessed by, children. The wide adverse effects of living with domestic violence for children must be recognised as a child protection issue. They link to poor educational achievement, social exclusion and to juvenile crime, substance abuse, mental health problems and homelessness from running away."
"Domestic Violence is not a 'once-off' occurrence but is frequent and persistent aimed at instilling fear into, and compliance from, the victim."
The focus of the Government’s strategy is on domestic violence perpetrated by men against women and the impact of this violence on children. In this guide we therefore refer to applicants, victims,or survivors as 'she', and respondents and/or abusers as 'he'. However, we acknowledge that men and same-sex partners can equally be victims of domestic violence. The information here is valid for both sexes.
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Damned If You Do. Damned If You Don't.
Appeal For Legal Aid With Regard To An Injunction Granted Via Legal Aid According the FLA 1996
Family Law Act 1996: "Domestic Violence is not a "once-off" occurrence but is frequent and persistent aimed at instilling fear into, and compliance from, the victim."

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Melanie Phillips writes articles for the Daily Mail.
On the Web Site you can find many articles on the troubles with modern society.
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